your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
