Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
