I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
