Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Porn is love you can see.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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