Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
