There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
