there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
