Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
