Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
