We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
