did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
