the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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