I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
