Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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