I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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