wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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