please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
