So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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