Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
