Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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