i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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