at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
jump out the window naked night went bad
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
