Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
