overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
