# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its not stalking. its research.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
