I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
