and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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