is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
