He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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