He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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