4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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