Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
