He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found puke in my bra..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
