So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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