did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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