Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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