I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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