I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
