my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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