i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
