if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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