Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
