with your own penis?
id be glad to
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
