I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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