Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
