remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
