dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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