what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
