Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The best revenge is premature balding
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
