The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
