I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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