do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
