i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
