so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
