If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
