Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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