Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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